Somehow, an Ann Landers column from a newspaper spot dated June 9, 2000 has become a longtime reference point for me when trying simply to make sense of whatever I have going on at the moment.
In the yellowed and creased clipping, a reader from St. Louis writes in to Ann with a list of DOs and DON’Ts to be applied when attending reunions (high school, etc). I would assume they are good guidelines for inter-personal gatherings of any sort.
The ancient parchment has got to go, but I’m sharing the list here. I’m curious if it has any relevance to how we are interacting on Facebook or twitter. It seems as if the social media crowd is always posting lists of stuff, so here’s my contribution:
- No whining or moaning over what might have been, or anything else depressing. No one wants a pall cast over the event.
- Seek out people who have made a difference in your life and thank them.
- Check your midlife crisis at the door. No one needs to know you are having an affair or that your spouse just left you.
- Do not brush off anyone who wants to talk to you. It doesn’t matter whether you liked that person in high school.
- Bring an extra hankie and cry all you want when you are overwhelmed by nostalgia and old friends.
- All responses to questions should be at least two full sentences. Don’t be abrupt.
- Don’t do too much bragging. It puts a spotlight on your insecurities.
- Any remarks about your baldness, weight or wrinkles should be countered with something humorous or self-deprecating. No offense is intended.
- Be careful how you approach others. Be respectful. Remember that you are dealing with someone’s wife, husband, mother or father.
- Be yourself. We remember you from way back and will accept you the way you are.