The Career of a “Rock Star”

by CultureOfNone on August 5, 2010

I found this interesting fragment in the Culture Of None archives:  It’s an elementary school assignment – clearly a “choose a career and research it” theme paper – bearing the date April 4, 1984.   I was a 5th grader.



I’m guessing I wrote this one mostly from intuitive observation and with minimal research, so it strikes me as both amusing and illuminating to revisit it now…
“If you want to be a rock star you need experience in musical instruments and song lyrics. First you may want to decide if your group is going to be a pop/soft rock group or a Heavy Metal group. Then you can think of a name for your group.

You can write songs yourself or hire someone to write songs for you. People in some businesses test you for your musical talent. If they think your music is good you sign a contract to get a type of license. When you get one you can go on a concert tour. If people like your music you can make more songs and put them on albums and sell buttons of your group.

One important thing you need to be popular is a type of uniform. One part of the uniform may be a glove. Michael Jackson wears a glove with shiny beads on it. David Lee Roth of Van Halen wears a glove with the thumb and forefinger cut off. Heavy Metal groups sometimes wear spiked leather straps and chain belts. This occupation has good pay and satisfying results.

-Adam P.   4/4/84″

That paper earned an A-, simply for telling it like it is.

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